Saying goodbye for a while

I wish there were more hours in the day, or at least more hours were all of my children would sleep at the same time! But I can’t see that happening anytime soon. So I have come to the decision that Urban Mamas Daydreams is going to have to be put on the back burner for a while. Not forever, but definitely for the considerable future.

While spending my days looking after my children I rarely get the chance to write on one blog at the moment, let alone two. I want to focus my attention on my other blog The Urban Vegan Kitchen. There I can combine all of my loves, writing, creativity, photography, and food :-)

It’s so strange, I feel sad and even guilty for saying this, but my recipe blog is much more of a priority for me, and I need to focus my time on that.

So for now, thank you for reading my ramblings on life, see you in the future!

And if you’re interested in yummy vegan recipes then please take a look at The Urban Vegan Kitchen :-)

So good to be back :-)

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Well that was a far longer break than I expected or wanted from here!  A combination of sick children, Christmas, moving house and a broken lap top all stood in the way of any type of writing from me.

We are now (almost) settled into our new home, I have a working lap top and the children are as well as they ever will be – all 3 have colds and 2 are teething but I can cope with that :-)

Once again after such a long break there is far too much to catch up on, so I just won’t even try.  This is my first post of the year so I will start afresh.  It’s time for me to start looking forward and not keep focusing on the past.

I have been feeling slightly unsettled lately, emotionally not physically, and I can’t quite put my finger on the reason for this.  I’m not sure if it’s just the change I am seeing in my children.  Tabitha is growing fast now, almost six months.  At this point with the boys we had just started to introduce solid food into their diets, but with Tabitha I aren’t even starting to think about doing that yet.  To me she is still my little newborn!  I’m trying my hardest to let go of those feelings, I know she must grow, it’s a physical impossibility that a baby will be a baby forever, but that doesn’t make it any less hard.  At the moment though despite her age I know that Tabitha isn’t ready for any solid food, she can’t sit and she still has the tongue reflex to push things away.  This doesn’t stop people looking at me like I’m crazy when I say her age but we aren’t starting weaning yet.  But really, what is the rush?  Peoples favourite topic at the moment seems to be when I will give her food! Why does everyone feel the need to rush babies into eating?  If there was something wrong and the baby wasn’t growing or gaining weight then I can understand it but if you could see Tabitha you would see that is not the case!  She’s happy, I’m happy, why is the outside world not happy?  I aren’t saying that I want to keep her on just breast milk forever, but if we get to seven or eight months and haven’t started weaning, is it really the end of the world?!

I am doing what I feel is best and that is following my baby girl’s lead.  People out there can keep judging me as much as they want but I know my children best :-)

Amazing Changes

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Every day my children amaze me.  They are growing up so quickly, and the changes that are taking place are phenomenal.  Small changes, so small that you might not even notice them, but when put together means the difference between newborn and infant, infant and toddler, and so on.

Every day I marvel at the learning capabilities of these tiny people.  They are so small, but growing into unique little characters!

Lincoln is coming on in leaps and bounds now.  He is starting to take so much more notice of what is going on around him.  He was never too interested what we as adults were doing, and would never attempt to mimic any type of behaviour.  But he will now clap his hands, wave goodbye, make sounds along to songs.  All things I genuinely couldn’t see him ever doing as he showed no interest whatsoever.  Just goes to show when you least expect something, that’s when it happens :-)

Zachary, I think has hit the terrible two’s early!  Not that he is terrible, he’s still a lovely little boy, but he has developed the habit of the most intense high-pitched scream I have ever heard, and it’s not really a scream for anything in particular.  Which I think does make it slightly harder to deal with as we have no idea what he wants.  But he still seems happy, chatty, and is very loving so I can’t complain!  He has also taken his first steps unaided, such a great moment to watch :-)  He get’s all excited, throws his arms in the air and attempts what must seem the impossible to him, letting go!

Tabitha is growing into such a gorgeous girl.  I have to admit I feel so proud of myself that I am breastfeeding her.  I’m not saying that I’m against formula, the boys were on formula full-time from 3 weeks old.  I just mean that the fact that I can see how much and how well she’s growing, and that is from just my milk, it has given me such a sense of accomplishment.  Tabitha is taking so much more notice of us all now, and laughs at our funny faces.  She is becoming a lot more settled and is even setting her own sleep pattern now :-)

A big change that has happened is in myself.  I never noticed at first, but I have become a big advocate for Attachment Parenting.  I love that fact that Tabitha co-sleeps and is worn in the sling.  I love breastfeeding her, which is a massive surprise to me as if you had asked me in the first few weeks you would not have got that response!  I love breastfeeding so much that I hope to become a Breastfeeding Peer Support Worker.  I want to be able to help all mums feel this way and experience the most amazing bond there is.  So next year I’ll be applying to go on the course, and I can start another great journey.

And the worst mummy award goes to………

I’m sat at home, the boys are fast asleep in bed, Chris is cuddling a sleepy Tabitha, but I’m sat crying my eyes out, still traumatised by the last half an hour.  I can barely see the keyboard to type I have that many tears in my eyes :-(

Every 3 or 4 days we try to give Tabitha a bottle of expressed milk, this has been happening since she was about two weeks old.  We started doing this so she could get used to having a bottle, for when the time comes that someone is looking after her.  Tabitha was fine at first, took to having a bottle no problems, but for the last couple of weeks it is awful trying to get her to take it.  She now screams the house down and it is heartbreaking to go through.  She does eventually drink, but I don’t think that going through this process is worth the outcome.  I just want to give up and leave her alone, but I can’t :-(

Last year Chris bought me Theatre tickets for Christmas to see Priscilla.  I was so excited, couldn’t wait to see my favourite show! I am now dreading the fact that it is only 2 weeks away and I will have to leave Tabitha.  Not only do I not feel ready to be anywhere away from her, I have been at her side 24 hours a day for the past 3 months.  When other people hold her even for a short time it feels like a part of me is missing, like I have lost an arm!  But the main problem is feeding her.  I can’t bare to go through all of this pain and upset she seems to be suffering just so I can have a night out.  I feel like the most selfish person in the world.  How can I put myself before my baby.  I know I wanted to go to Theatre, and the tickets were booked when I knew I was pregnant so I knew I would need to leave my baby with someone, but I had no idea that I would feel like this or that her taking a bottle would be such an issue.

I’ve calmed down a lot now, no more tears thankfully, but now my mind is working overtime.  What on earth am I doing?!  I must be an awful person for trying to force a bottle upon my baby who clearly doesn’t want it.  I chose to breastfeed her and I must be thankful that it is going so well that she no longer wants any other type of feeding.

Tabitha is fast asleep now, as if nothing happened, but I can’t stop thinking about it :-(Image

Going back to basics

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Well it has now been over 1 week since I took over three quarters of the boys toys away and gave up on watching television while they are awake.  Before anyone thinks it, this isn’t any type of punishment.  My boys are only 14 months old bless them :-)

The toys have been taken away because my house was becoming ridiculous with the amount of things they have.  My living room looked like a Toys ‘R’ Us bomb had exploded in there.  The main problem though was not that there was a mess, that’s what I expect from having 3 children, no, the problem was that both of the boys were getting too over-stimulated and becoming really stressed with everything.  They were getting aggravated, unhappy, having major meltdowns and Zachary was becoming a bit violent throwing his toys around.  He was starting to worry me :-(

So I thought the best thing to do would be to nip this in the bud and have a good old clear out.  All of the loud, all-singing-all-dancing, flashing lights toys have been moved out of sight.  When they were all going off at once it’s no wonder the boys were becoming stressed.  They stressed me out!  I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t concentrate on anything with all of that noise so I have no doubt that that situation was no good for the children.

I was also thinking that the reason we have bought all of these things is to help teach our children various things, the alphabet, numbers, colours, we even have toys that are programed to say the boys names!  But what is so wrong with parents teaching children all of this?  Surely it is mine and Chris’s responsibility as parents to teach our children when they are ready, not leave it up to a piece of brightly coloured plastic.

So the toys are gone and now we’re just concentrating on playing, not being sung at repeatedly. They still have a lot left, building blocks, wooden trains, push along cars, and various sensory toys, basically everything a toddler of 14 months would ever need.

I’ve come to realise that just because a toys packaging says that it is suitable from 6months, 12months etc, this doesn’t mean that a child this age needs these things.  I’m learning that all they need is a fun relaxed environment and a parents attention and nurturing.

Because of the change that has been implemented, both of the boys seem so much happier.  The tantrums which Lincoln was throwing have been drastically cut down, he is a lot calmer now. Although he still has his little meltdowns, as we all witnessed as the Sling Library today!  Zachary still likes to throw his toys over the safety gate and out of the playpen, but now it is just done for fun, not out of frustration.  Both boys just seem so much happier, there’s more laughter and less crying so I think I made a good decision.  It did take a bit to convince Chris that I’m not just being a mean mummy, but once he understood my reasoning he supported me.  Plus hed can see himself the boys are much more settled.  A calmer living environment for a calmer child :-)

I just want to say that this is just what is working for us as a family.  I don’t want to come across as though I think this is how all households should be.  I know a lot of parents who swear that T.V is a magic solution for keeping the kids entertained, and that is great if that’s what works for them :-)